Hey everyone before I begin, I would like to say that all the topics I write in my blog are simply a reflection of my own experiences. I’m hoping that by sharing my thoughts about the things that have motivated and inspired me as well as the people in my life, it could motivate and inspire others as well.
However these are not lessons you have to follow or a checklist you need to tick off for your own writing. As I mentioned in a previous post, everyone’s situation is different and if what you are doing works for you, I’m really glad. Please continue doing what you’re doing.
One of the most rewarding parts that I enjoy about being a support worker is developing rapport with the clients. They would share with me stories of their history. They would share tales of their family and friends, of their dreams, their achievements, their regrets of how things overall could have been different had they made another choice. And one of the most common lessons that many of them have taught me is to be kinder to myself and to take steps, no matter how small, to become someone better.
This struck me because I am guilty on being hard on myself when I was younger. I still am from time to time. In fact a lot of my self-criticisms shows itself when I am writing. Is this chapter okay? Are my characters engaging? Does this story make sense? What if I am not good enough to be telling this? These are the type of questions that would haunt my mind.
That said, I believe there’s nothing wrong with self-reflection and sharing my thoughts and feelings of my concerns and problems to the people I trust can be liberating and a great bonding moment.
It is only when I allow these problems to stop me from living the life I want that I feel I am letting myself down. That I feel I am not taking to heart the lessons that the clients have taught me. Am I taking the steps, no matter how small, to become a better person?
If I spent twenty-four hours for the next week watching myself, would I be proud of what I see? Or would I be disappointed?
I have been asked…
What do you do with all this love when you have no one to give it to?
To which I reply…
You give it to yourself.
I believe in this answer wholeheartedly. No matter how much I love all my friends and family, they will never be in my life twenty-four seven. It wouldn’t be fair to me. I love my space. It also wouldn’t be fair to them. They have their own lives.
When we see each other, it’s amazing and I look forward to our times together. At the end of the day though, I am the one who I will spend twenty-four seven with. I am the one living my life. So, like the clients have taught me, I should try to strive to become the person I wish to be in the future, to be better than whom I was yesterday.
Yes, I’d have setbacks. Yes, I’d fall into old habits and find myself angry, upset and disappointed, but as long as I know I am doing what I can to be better than who I was before, to be someone worthy of giving and accepting love, then that’s enough for me.